Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to really reflect on what happened when I switched barns and the months leading up to that time. I realize now that I was getting just one story, and as the saying goes, there’s always three sides to every story including the one in the middle, which tends to be the truth. At the time, I was unwilling to consider that there were three sides to the story, and I took one word as gospel. Now that I’ve separated myself from the situation and really reflected on it, I realized that I may have acted in a rash way and not given a chance to the other stories involved. Additionally, I’ve also had time to reflect on relationships I had with people involved in the previous situation, and I’ve realized that the relationships may not have been what I thought they were. Again, unfortunate.
Tonight, after much reflection and going back and forth, I got the guts to reach out to individuals with whom I had burned bridges in the past due to me not knowing the whole story. I am glad to say that everything turned out positively. Constructive, productive conversations were had, and I think everything is going to be okay. What was most important was being able to be civil to other professionals and riders with whom I’ve had a falling out, and if a renewed, supportive friendship ensues with those individuals, I am totally fine with that. I also wanted to recognize the fact that not everything is what it seems, even if it took some time to realize. I’ve written about the importance of not burning bridges in the horse world, if it can be helped. I’ve realized that if time goes by, and you’re willing to acknowledge mistakes made, you can repair bridges, even if it just means being civil to that/those individual(s) when you run into them somewhere – like at a horse show.
I am in my mid-20s, have a new full-time job, and am considered a professional in my (full-time job) field. It’s time for me for grow up (I do still have a lot to do). Sometimes reaching out, acknowledging mistakes, and saying “I’m sorry” is the best thing you can do to mend something that went sour. I am lucky enough that this was effective, and I am looking forward to new beginnings.
The story is obviously much longer and more detailed than this blog post, but I don’t want to broadcast it. What’s done is done, and it’s in the past and behind me and us all. But I really wanted to say that reflection is important. Being able to acknowledge your own mistakes is important. And most importantly, [and this comes from a spiritual guru I follow “religiously” Gabby Bernstein (If you don’t follow her and her teachings I highly recommend it)], you must ask yourself “Would you rather be right or be happy?” As a lawyer, it is my instinct to always be right; however, this is not always the case, and as I’ve aged and grown, I’ve matured and realized that being right isn’t always the best thing, especially if your case for being right grows weaker and weaker upon reflection.
Admitting your part in a negative situation isn’t always fulfilling, but sometimes it is necessary. Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone with whom you’ve had a “burnt bridge” in the past. Sure, things may not go your way – but at least you made an effort, and you can rest easy knowing you did that.