The Legal Equestrian

How to handle negativity, hate, and bullying from other equestrians

One of the biggest themes I, and other equestrians, have noticed in this community is the propensity for equestrians to be negative and hateful towards each other. It can be about a horse, a riding or training style (Note: This does not include abusive techniques, which should be spoken up about), choice of apparel, financial status, or another opinion the equestrian may have. A lot of this negativity occurs on social media, but boarding and riding facilities have also been known to advertise that they are “drama free” because drama is so prevalent in the horse world in person as well.

Negativity is always present, no matter how much we try to advocate for positivity, love, and support towards each other. If you have experienced negativity and drama, you will most likely experience it again. If you are experiencing negativity, you will most likely continue to, or once it has ended, you will most likely experience it again.

So, if you have experienced it or are, what can you do to soften the blow and continue to live your equestrian life drama free?

Ignore it. This is the hardest advice to give, but perhaps the most effective. Ignoring the negative things another equestrian has to say is the best method of dealing with negativity. Why? Because giving them attention for their negative words is only feeding them. A lot of times hatred comes out of the need for attention, and giving attention to that hatred and drama is only giving that equestrian what he or she wants. Ignore it. Don’t engage in it. You may be so tempted to respond, especially if what is being said is especially cruel or hateful; however, let them continue to hate on you without you responding. A few things will happen. First, they will make themselves look like jerks because they are being hateful while you are maintaining your composure and not responding. Two, you will look more mature and put together because you are not engaging in drama. Three, they eventually will stop because they are not receiving the attention they are craving.

Kill them with kindness. Another way to handle negativity is to be extra kind to the hater. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘kill ’em with kindness’? This could work here. If someone has something mean to say to you, compliment them. They may be so surprised they won’t know what to do and will stop hating on you.

Delete/block/report them. A mentor of mine, Gabby Bernstein, has a saying for when she receives hatred online: “Forgive and delete.” On social media, you can always remove a person from your friends’ list or followers. You can also mute them and block them. If the hate and drama gets especially frequent and hurtful, blocking, reporting, and removing that person from your followers list is probably the best way to go. Additionally, if the drama/hate is abusive or extremely out of line, you can report the person to the social media company.

Know they are coming from a place of insecurity. A lot of times when a person is hateful towards another, it’s because they are insecure or jealous themselves. They may deny this, but it has been proven through studies. I’ve also received anonymous comments where people have admitted they hated on me because they were jealous of me. Although this may not be complete consolation, especially if the hate is especially bad, know that the equestrian that is causing you drama is probably doing so because they are jealous of your specific situation, asset, horse, etc.

Be confident in yourself. Sometimes someone will harshly criticize your riding, training, horse, or even your trainer (this has happened to me). If you’re not being abusive towards your horse, and if your trainer has the credentials (and even if they don’t, but you are benefitting from them), be confident in your abilities and what you have. No one knows you but you and your trainer. Additionally, social media presences are often curated. We tend to post only certain things, so unless someone teaches us or sees us ride/work with our horse every day, they really have zero idea what goes on in our riding lives. Remember that.

Ask them to stop. If the bullying/drama/hate is especially bad, you can always ask the equestrian to stop bothering you. This may not always be effective, but it is worth a try. It’s also worth mentioning that if you are bullying someone, and you are asked to stop, and you continue to bully/hate on them, you can be charged with harassment. Is a legal charge really worth it? Hint: No.

Most importantly, be professional. Try not to engage in drama or negativity. Don’t bully other

Being unprofessional can stop you from receiving coveted sponsorships, catch rides, ambassadorships, and more. Photo is of McLain Ward, one of the most professional riders out there, & the late Saphire.

equestrians. While you may not be looking for sponsors or ambassadorships now, you might one day, and your social media activity can come back to haunt you. When I first started out, I  responded to every single piece of hate I got. I was confrontational. I was dramatic. It gave me a bad reputation. I have since revamped myself, and although I am still working on being less opinionated and confrontational, I have drastically improved which I think has helped people online like me more. Additionally, I moved to a barn that does not have drama associated with it, and if there is some minor drama, I do not engage at all. Professionalism is key in this sport, and you never know when you will be under a microscope for a sponsorship, ambassadorship, or something else where your conduct will be at play.

Book Review: Unrelenting: The Real Story: Horses, Bright Lights and My Pursuit of Excellence by George Morris

I recently read George Morris’ new book Unrelenting: The Real Story: Horses, Bright Lights and My Pursuit of Excellence. Mr. Morris warned it would be raw, uncensored, and the real story. He was right. In addition, it was peppered with quotes from those who have worked with him in the past and who know him. It truly shows the real story behind the hunt seat legend, and he leaves no detail uncovered.

It took me a while to finish the book. I am actually a quick reader, but I soaked in every detail, wanting to know more about the man most hunt seat equestrians look up to. I found the book engaging, interesting, and like he said, raw and real.

He goes through his story decade by decade, which I appreciated. There were a few things that surprised me most about him:

  • He was a timid rider;
  • He was a party boy;
  • He rode mostly Thoroughbreds, popular back then;
  • He is noted as kind and generous by many individuals quoted (not that I think he is mean, but he is known for being tough);
  • He used his perfectionism to his advantage;
  • He sometimes let a student wallow in their mistakes rather than disciplining or yelling at them

I found the book to be inspiring. As I said, one of the most surprising things was that Mr. Morris was a timid rider. I am a timid rider. However, he worked through that and got to where he is today. I also find inspiration in his perfectionism and how he uses it to his advantage, not letting it get to him in a negative way. That is something on which I need to work.

Another big thing is the popularity of Thoroughbreds back when he was honing his craft. I never knew this; after all, warmbloods are mostly, if not all, of what I’ve ridden and know.

He speaks candidly about the horse world; its weaknesses; America’s weaknesses; Europe’s strengths; and being gay, which I think is hugely important to recognize in the equestrian community. Male riders don’t see a stigma, as far as I know, for being gay, but you don’t see as many female riders coming out. As an avid LGBTQIA+ rights individual, I really appreciated his emphasis, though small, on this aspect of the community.

He is truly an inspiration, and I found his book to be motivating. I’ve even given it away twice, and I think anyone serious about riding would benefit from reading this text. It covers a lot of detail, and I learned a lot from it. I also found a lot of quotes that resonated with me, which I will be covering on the blog decade by decade.

For those of you that have read Hunter Seat Equitation, this book is a lot less technical. There are teachable excerpts and a general focus on technique and riding, but if you are looking to truly learn the correct, recommended way to ride hunt seat, I would encourage you to read the aforementioned book. I encourage you to read both books, in fact.

The book is long, but it is well worth it. It tells you all about Mr. Morris’ experiences – horse-related and non-horse-related – and it gives an idea of how things were prior to 2016. My biggest recognitions, as I said, are highlighted above.

Overall, the book is well-written, thoughtful, and very thorough – something I greatly appreciated. I also appreciated the quotes from those who have worked with him over the years, though I do think some equestrians were missing (Lillie Keenan, for example).

So what are you waiting for? Pick up a copy of this book and crack it open to learn even more than you did before. You won’t regret it.

Have you read the book? What do you think? Leave a comment below.

 

Healthy equestrian meals on a budget

Submission by Kate S.

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It’s hard to balance a budget while on a tight schedule; half of my meals need to occur in under 20 minutes before I’m out the door and on to the next event in my schedule.

I’ve really gotten into the idea of freezing meals, so I have things I can thaw the night before, re-heat, and eat when I come home. I’m also on a tight budget so cheap, but healthy is always a priority for all of my meals. I tend to eat a lot of meat free meals to help minimize costs, and like to incorporate fresh fruits and veggies into multiple meals, so I don’t have to throw out too much.

Here are some quick/easy recipes that have become a part of my rotation. They’re easy on your budget, freeze well, and best of all, (fairly) healthy!

Breakfast

Peanut Butter Banana Oat Muffins: these are one of my new favorites! Flour is replaced with rolled oats to up the fiber. It is a touch on the sweet side, but I love one for breakfast. I sprinkle with mini-chocolate chips before baking to defeat my “gas station PopTarts” cravings. Add a piece of fruit and you are good to go! (Tip: you can still make these if you don’t have a blender/food processor, but purchase “fast cook oats” instead of rolled outs).

Omelettes: I eat these for lunch and dinner usually because I’m always running out the door in the morning. I usually toss in a little spinach, cheese, and/or avocado.

Baked Eggs in an Avocado: I’ll be honest. I have yet to successfully replicate this recipe aesthetically, but it sure tastes good! I like to sprinkle a little cheddar on top. Again, I’m usually running out the door, so this is a weekend breakfast, or weekday lunch/dinner.

Nailed it.

I swear it tasted better than it looked. Pro tip: scoop out some of the avocado before adding the egg.

Lunch/Dinner

Slow Cooker Quinoa Enchilada Bake: this is definitely a make ahead recipe, but one batch is about 6 servings. I freeze half of it in single portions for later in the month. I like to add diced green peppers to mine; I’m all about packing vegetables into everything. I’ll add chopped avocado to the top when I eat it.

Slow Cooker Chicken Teriyaki: I personally rarely eat meat, but my boyfriend loves chicken. This is one of his absolute faves. Cook a big batch ahead of time, freeze in portions, and reheat to serve with rice.

Slow Cooker Chili: this is another make ahead recipe, but again, you can portion it out and freeze to eat later. I usually replace the jalapenos with chopped green bell pepper, so it doesn’t have as big a kick.

Tips

  • Buy frozen vegetables and meat in bulk: they have similar nutritional values and don’t spoil like the fresh varieties do!
  • Canned vegetables are your friends; I hate eating them plain, but love to eat them in dishes. At $2 a can or less, these are your friend!
  • Use slightly overripe fruit to make muffins or baked treats. When my bananas get too ripe, I make banana bread or muffins. Wrinkly apples are baked. It minimizes waste, and stretches your budget!

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Kate is a 3rd year veterinary student, who continues to ride and occasionally compete on the local Hunter/Jumper circuit. She currently competes in the 0.80m jumpers and hopes to move up in the spring. When not on a horse, grooming a horse, or blogging about horses, she is studying veterinary medicine with a guinea pig in her lap. After graduation, she hopes to eventually become boarded in Emergency Medicine and Critical Care, and continue riding and showing in the jumper ring.

Kate can be found on Twitter.

How to spice up your flatwork

By Terise Cole.

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If you live where you get a true winter, then you know that the weather tends to get in the way of your riding. The temperatures are either too low to ride, or it is too cold to do much of anything once you mount up. A lot of riders, including myself, resort to flatwork for the chilly months—too much over fences in the cold weather isn’t the best idea—but about a month in you can get bored and so can your horse. The desire to ride starts to fade, the wishing for warmer days and jump courses begins, and the freezing temperatures can get the best of you. Time to beat the chill and spice up your flatwork.

Pole Work
You don’t need to me to tell you that jumping isn’t all about the jumps. Drag out those dusty poles and set up a course. Watch a few of your rounds from show season to pick a few things to work on—maybe you need to go deeper into your corners or want to tune your eye for distances. Poles allow you to focus on the flat portion of your jumping while saving your horse’s legs. My favorite exercise is to do separate grids of bounces (but with poles!), fans, and also work on different striding.  This keeps my horse on his toes, attentive to my aids, and vastly helps our adjustability.

Practice Tests
Break out the USEF Rulebook and study up on the 19 equitation test elements—even those of you who aren’t equitation riders. Some of them are “easy,” but can always use some fine tuning (those circles are harder than you think). Pick a few numbers in randoms order to create a full test or practice the one that may be the most overlooked; the demonstration ride. Try not to go over the one minute allowed and show off your horse’s best features. If you have a riding buddy, “judge” each other on the positives and negatives of each test you ride and find a place for improvement.

Lunge Lessons
This one requires an extra set of hands, so grab a buddy (or your trainer) and ask them to throw you on the lunge line. It seems juvenile, but you would be surprised how off-balance you might be once you let go of your reins. Go back to all those stretches you did when you were first learning to ride—airplane arms, scissor kicks, toe touches, hands on your hips—and try them at the trot or canter. These all help your balance and stability in the saddle.

Ditch Your Stirrups
No stirrup November can be continued! This can be done anytime and anywhere, so there is no excuse. You can even do any of the previous exercises sans stirrups or just ditch you saddle all together and hop on bareback. Be mindful of your horse’s comfort if you are a little rusty, but practice a little bit each day and you’ll be rock solid by the time show season rolls around.

Happy schooling!

Tips on dealing with a spooky horse

Submitted by Kari W-L.

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We have all experienced those horses or days when your horse finds everything terrifying. “Did that rock just move!?” “I don’t trust that tree…” “OMG WHAT WAS THAT SOUND?” But there is one thing that all horses have in common: They don’t wake up in the morning thinking “I want to annoy my rider today,” and so we need to think of this when they spook. We also need to remember that horses are naturally flighty animals as this is how they survived in the wild. Shying is a natural instinct.

If a horse constantly shies you should go through a mini checklist:

  1. Are they shying due to a health problem? Damage to a horse’s eyesight or Grass Staggers (this seems to be more prominent in New Zealand due to the grass and horses’ grazing 24/7) can be some health problems. Ask your trainer or an experienced horse person if they think anything is wrong with your horse. You can also ask a licensed veterinarian.
  2. Are they shying due to distraction? If a horse wants to avoid work they may sometimes spook. Is the horse finding the current work too difficult for their experience level or muscle development? Is your equipment ill-fitting and causing pain? Shying can sometimes be a way for the horse to avoid some pain for a while due to workload or equipment so check your tack and your riding program to be sure it fits your horse and his or her fitness level.
  3. Is it the horse’s personality? Some horses are naturally more flighty than other horses, and you cannot change this. You might be able to find some powders (However, make sure they’re legal for competitions or allowed by the FEI by checking their website or your country’s illegal substance list for competitions) that could help relax the horse such as magnesium or specially made oils. I also feed Fenugreek to help with the horse’s digestion as I find my horse’s digestion works overtime when he’s nervous. (Editor’s Note: SmartPak has a number of calming supplements; Again, make sure they are competition-legal.)

On the other hand, though, a horse can naturally be bossy and may purposely spook in order to show you they are boss. Be careful, though, when deciding if this is your horse’s personality. You should make sure that you’ve eliminated the above vices first; otherwise you could be doing more harm than good. Have an experienced horse person or your trainer give their opinion on if your horse is shying due to the horse wanting to be dominant before following through with the training below to stop your horse’s shying due to the horse thinking they are the leader.

If a horse is shying due to it being naturally spooky, or it’s a one off shy then here’s some tips to help your horse deal with spooky objects or spots in the future.

Technique 1:

  1. Your horse has just spooked at something right next to them. Stop your horse no matter what gain you’re in. Take you horse back to that exact spot where they shied and halt them for a couple of seconds. If you horse is showing that they are visibly scared then pat them and talk to them until you can feel them stop shaking or see their eye relax. (If your horse is one that was shaking or trying to run away while halting let them look at whatever they’re shying at and sniff it. Once they seem okay with sniffing it move on to the next step).
  2. Walk your horse a step forward past the scary spot and stop them again. Repeat step 1 again if your horse is spooky. Continue stepping forward a few steps until you’re past the scary spot.
  3. Once you’re past the spooky spot walk your horse past that spot again in the same direction. If the horse spooks again stop them instantly and walk on again and only stop if they spook again.
  4. Repeat step 3 again if your horse shies at the walk until they stop shying. Once your horse stops spooking at the walk try trotting past and if they spoke, stop them (Ask them to back to the scary spot if you pass it) and continue trotting on until they spook again. Keep repeating this until they stop shying at the trot.
  5. Canter past the spot, halting at the spot at which they spook, and then continue in canter. Continue cantering past until they stop spooking.
  6. Do the same exercise in the other direction, starting at a walk until you can canter past without shying. No doubt your horse will shy so follow the halting technique until they stop spooking.
  7. Continue your work if the horse isn’t tired (mentally or physically) and move away from the spot and then come back to it. If your horse does another big spook, halt them and then continue at the pace you were before. If your horse trusts you enough you should be able to put your leg on, and your horse should go past the spot without jumping to the side by ten meters.

This technique doesn’t stop your horse’s spooking overnight. It can take weeks, months, or years as the horse learns to trust you and know you’re the boss. Be vigilant and always halt them if they spook. Some horses will get away with spooking once and will take that inch for a mile. The point of this exercise is that the horse learns that you control their legs, and it’s better for them to listen to you than to stay next to the scary spot or object. If your horse is shying due to disobedience, then you can halt them and growl at them, or give them a boot. If they don’t listen to a boot then use the whip but only go to the point where you know they understand what they did wrong.

Technique 2:

If your horse won’t go anywhere near a spot:

  1. Put your horse on a circle (at the trot or walk) that’s as close as you can get to the scary spot.
  2. Gradually make the circle bigger by a few inches at a time towards the scary spot.
  3. Keep doing this until you get right next to the scary spot and then follow Technique 1.

Some horses will never stop spooking at certain objects, but the idea with the above techniques is that you will eventually be able to ride past the scary objects and deal with it by putting your leg on without spectators or judges noticing. Horses will usually spook less if they’re in front of your leg, meaning you don’t need to keep using your leg to keep them going.

If you notice your horse spooking at sounds rather than visuals then maybe try ear stuffies. Of course, check regulations around the use of ear stuffies in your area/discipline. Ear plugs are banned in most disciplines (Note: The author is from New Zealand), or desensitize your horse to the sound.

Desensitizing to sound:

Ex-racehorse and speakers: Play the racing radio station in their stable as much as possible until they realise it’s not exciting. I also rode my horse with my music playing out loud to help desensitize to speakers. Experiencing the speakers at shows will also help as long as you stay calm and don’t make them think it’s exciting.

Sand hitting objects: Have your horse on a lead and you on the ground. Find a place where sand always hits, i.e. a barrel. Lightly throw sand at the object until they realise it’s okay and not scary. Do this every day until the horse thinks nothing of it. Then hop on your horse and ride past. Hopefully by this point your horse is confident enough to ride past without thinking twice about the sound.

Spooking at jumps:

Here’s a technique for if a horse is shying at a jump while you’re doing daily training.

  1. Walk your horse around the sides of the jump without letting them have a direct look at the jump. Some horses can become even more scared if you let them directly look at the jump.
  2. Make the jump small and trot your horse up to the jump and try and jump it. If your horse stops directly in front of it make them walk over it. The idea of the jump being small is so that they can jump it at a standstill or walk. If the horse runs out then bring the horse back to the jump, halt them, and growl at them or boot them. You can also use the whip and make them jump it.
  3. Praise your horse once they jump it. This is hugely important. Make a big fuss out of it if they were genuinely scared. You want your horse to realise you’re there to help rather than be a scary person. If the spookiness was disobedience, still tell them they’re good but don’t go overboard.
  4. Keep trotting over it until they stop over jumping it due to shying and can casually jump over it.
  5. Canter over it. If they stop then make sure you make them jump it.
  6. Once the horse is jumping it nicely in the canter then make it a bit bigger if need be.

The point of this is that you don’t want your horse to know what stopping is unless they have something wrong with them, or it was a horrible approach. The horse must learn to trust that you will never make them jump something if it was dangerous. Be vigilant if the horse runs out or stops. Always bring the horse back to the jump if they run away, and if they stop tell them off and make them jump it if it’s small enough.

Here’s a technique for it you’re at a show. No doubt you’ll know what jumps your horse is most likely to shy at.

  1. Enter the ring and automatically ride past any jumps you feel your horse would shy at. (Note: In some rings in the U.S., this is not allowed). Do not directly show your horse the jump though.
  2. When you approach the jump get into a defensive position and growl at them, boot them or use a whip, if allowed. You want your aids to be discrete as you will be judged in some classes. In jumpers and cross country, this doesn’t matter so much.
  3. Praise them once they jump.

These are only a few techniques to help with spooking, but hopefully this helps. Remember, you’re the boss, but you’re also not the enemy. Also, be vigilant on keeping to a technique; otherwise you may ruin all of your work. If you’re at a complete loss, ask your trainer or another professional for help.

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Kari is a New Zealander currently about to start University, hopefully continuing riding and competing horses. She’s ridden for about 13 years and began training her first horse at the age of 10. From then on she has continued training her horses with her main horse Nip And Tuck being her mount in winning the National Eventing Junior One Day Eventing title in 2015, winning the Junior Rider Series 2014-2015 in Eventing and having placings at FEI1* and completing their first 2* while Kari was 17 . Her future goals is to compete consistently at FEI 2*, get into a NZ Eventing development squad and experience Eventing in America and England.

Kari can be found on Twitter.

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