The Legal Equestrian

Confessions of An Aspiring Amateur: Tough love & a reality check

Photo Credit: MyEquiCoach.com

Photo Credit: MyEquiCoach.com

My second to last lesson wasn’t the greatest. Well, I’m pledging to focus on the good, not the bad, so my fall will not be the highlight of my lesson. However, I did have a fall. My horse bucked twice at the canter going one direction; I sat it fine. My horse bucked in the other direction; I got unseated and fell.

I was upset, frustrated, confidence shaken. But I wasn’t as timid about getting back on. I just hated that I fell. I hated that this horse was handing me my ass on a shiny silver platter. I hated that he was exposing me and my weaknesses and my lack of motivation.

I have not been riding as consistently due to my riding funk, which I have talked about extensively, my lack of motivation, the weather, and my horrible, chronic health issues –  so, understandably I am weak. I’ve found myself asking “Do I really want the success?” “Do I really want to have to give up one of my horses in order to one day get a true jumper?” “Do I really love riding?” “Is this really my passion?” “Do I really want to do what’s best for me and the animals I own?”

Despite my recent health issues (I had a two week migraine in February, followed by a cold/sore throat stint at the end of February), there were a few times I could’ve gone out and ridden through a cold, especially after popping some Advil and getting my fever down to a manageable level.

After my fall and me getting back on, my trainer gave me some tough love that day.

She said no more excuses (truth). I fell because I hadn’t been riding, and my legs were weak (truth). Riding while having a migraine was one thing she didn’t want me to do because it was dangerous (truth), but if I had a sore throat or a stuffy nose or a mild fever, pop some Advil and force myself to come to the barn (truth). I needed to ride to be strong and make progress (truth). I needed to be present (truth).

That really stuck with me. I needed to be present. I have all these lofty goals, and I am allowing a little funk get in the way of them after all this success and progress I’ve had and made. My trainer (nicely, even though she doesn’t have to be) calls me on my bulls*t and lets me know when I am effing up. I really appreciate her for that. And I know, or at least I hope, she does it because she believes in me and my (somewhat hidden) talent and ability and wants me to get better.

We all go through phases and riding funks. Sometimes we have to take breaks or sometimes we have to force ourselves to get out there and just do it. That’s what I need to go, and that fall was my reality check. I shouldn’t have fallen, especially because I had sat two bucks perfectly prior to that. My horse threw a buck afterwards again, and I sat it and dealt with it perfectly. There was no reason I should’ve fallen.

I hated knowing that I had disappointed my trainer. I see her as a role model and a rider I would like to be like one day. I see her as a friend (hopefully our friendship never ends badly – my biggest fear), and I see her as someone who wants the best for me and my horses. I see her as someone I trust and as someone who pushes me to be the best I can be, even when I doubt myself. “Practice guts,” as she says to quote a well-known blog post.

Be present. Have guts. Push yourself.

And sit that buck, dammit!

Confessions of An Aspiring Amateur: Why saying goodbye is okay

I apologize that the blog has been quiet lately. The truth is, I haven’t been feeling like myself. Last week was the two year anniversary of Rascal’s death, and while I thought I wouldn’t be as affected this year as I was last year, it seemed as if last week all the memories came flooding back, vividly, ripping my heart out once again.

The funny thing is, I know it’s okay to say goodbye because by now, with all the goodbyes I’ve said – to barns, trainers, the horse that inspired me to pursue more competitive riding – I know there’s always a hello in the future. I guess sometimes it’s just hard to remember.

But, let’s talk about those “hello” moments.

Losing Rascal was devastating to me, but in my desperation to find a new horse that could teach me to jump courses and become a more confident rider, I found Luther.

Saying goodbye to not one but two barns in the past two years brought me to my facility now where I am finally pursuing my goals of jumping full courses, becoming a better, stronger, educated rider, and showing.

Saying goodbye to my old trainer brought me to my current trainer, who has pushed me and made me want to be a better rider. I know I say this every time I write about her, but I truly do improve every single lesson I have with her. Until I found her, I was stuck in what I would call a “co-dependent” relationship with my former trainer. I didn’t think I could ride with anyone but her – I was scared to. And while, she is a great trainer and helped me immensely in regaining my confidence and becoming a better rider, I think that we outgrew each other and just didn’t realize it until reality was forced upon us.

I owe a few lesson recaps, but rather than going through them one by one, I am going to highlight the best parts of each lesson.

A few weeks ago, I was able to do a gymnastics lesson with both Monte and Luther. We did the gymnastics exercise in several lessons. It was three bounces, then one stride to an oxer that was of varying heights. The biggest highlight from the last gymnastics exercise with Monte was that I went through it one-handed, and the oxer at the end was 2’9″. Why hello new thing I never would’ve done ever six months ago.

We did the exercise with Luther as well, and I was most excited for this because last time I tried to do a bounce exercise with Luther, I literally could not get him to have enough rhythm to do the actual bounce. He was actually adding a stride in between each jump – mostly because I was too scared to have enough rhythm to make it through the jumps.

But this time I got it, and it was pretty darn good.

So good that the last time I did it, I turned the corner and saw the oxer at the end and immediately asked myself what the heck my trainer thought she was doing – but we jumped it. Three times.

During cool out, I asked her how high the last jump was. I’m one of those riders that is better if I just don’t know how high the jump is until after I’ve jumped it. I’m very mental and get in my head too much. She responded that it was 3’3″.

Why hello new thing I definitely would not have done ever six months ago. The highest I’ve ever jumped was, until that day, 3′.

I know I have a lot to work on, but it was still a great experience to be able to jump without having heart palpitations and wanting to cry.

Last week, after riding Monte, my trainer had me try an equitation sale horse she has in the barn that I will not name for privacy reasons. I’ve only ridden this horse once before, and it didn’t go very well. However, this time was greatly improved – though there was room for improvement. I’ve never ridden a real equitation horse before, and I quickly learned the importance of accuracy and how my subtle leans in the saddle needed to stop if I wanted her to stop doing tempi changes while we were cantering.

I thought we were only going to lesson on the flat, but my trainer had other plans for me. She started with having me jump a small 2′ single. I’ve been working on getting my rhythm better to jumps, as well as my straightness, so that was important too. I guess I was doing really well because the next thing I knew, our assistant trainer was putting the jump up way higher than I expected.

I waited for my heart palpitations, nerves, and wanting to cry to kick in… and none of it did. I wasn’t the most confident, but I certainly wasn’t meek either. I went to the jump and jumped it a few times. Again – room for improvement, but it’s the “hello” that’s most important to me.

During cool out, I again asked my trainer how high the jump was. She and the assistant trainer responded that it was 3′. Why hello new thing that would’ve been out of the question a month ago. Getting on an unfamiliar horse and jumping it that high the first time I was jumping it was something completely foreign to me – something that I never would’ve done in a million years.

Except I did it. Because I said those hard goodbyes when they needed to be said.

When you have to say goodbye to something familiar, whether it be a horse, a barn, a trainer, it will be hard (or maybe it won’t be), and you will probably push back and resist it. But, the important thing to remember is that these things all happen for a reason, even if we don’t know what that reason is at that particular time. It will reveal itself in the future. Don’t go looking for the reason; try to go with the flow, and the reason will come to you when you least expect it. And then, all of the sudden, everything will make sense.

Just remember, wherever you are in your riding journey, you’re exactly where you need to be.

Lesson Recap: October 1 – 2, 2015

I was lucky enough to have lessons yesterday and today. Yesterday, I was only able to ride Monte due to time constraints, and today, if you live on the East Coast, you know we are getting pummeled by winds, cold, and wet weather (thanks Hurricane Joaquin), so today’s lesson recap only features Luther as Monte goes in aluminum shoes, and we did not want to risk him pulling one in the footing (which was mostly good, but there were some soupy parts).

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Yesterday, we did the usual – warm-up flatwork featuring circles, lengthening and collecting at the trot, serpentines, circles, etc. Monte had a baby moment when he heard a 4-wheeler coming up behind him, so we worked on getting him focused back on his job when he has a moment like that rather than feeding into him spooking and scooting. Luckily, Monte’s “spook” is a scoot, so he simply cantered a little bit faster. We continued to canter, and then brought him back down to a trot – spiraling in and out – to get his mind back in the ring and on me. Though he is super sane for being 6 years old, he does have his baby moments – and that was one of them. However, it is a good thing for me to learn how to deal with, especially if I am ever riding him by myself and something like that happens.

The next thing we worked on were trot cavaletti. The first few times Monte had to figure out exactly what was going on, so he tripped over his feet a little bit. I had to work on making sure he was straight to the cavaletti; that our rhythm was just right; and that I was supporting with my legs and maintaining enough connection as we went through the exercise. Eventually he figured out where his feet were supposed to go, and we moved onto my favorite exercise of all:

Gymnastics.

The gymnastic was set at a pole, three small bounces, and then a one stride to an oxer. We started off small. I haven’t done gymnastics in a very long time and bounces in even longer. My biggest issue with jumping is maintaining the right amount of rhythm. Although my rhythm was fine for the small jumps, once the oxer began to move up, I had to step my game up.

The first time the oxer moved up (to 2’6″), Monte was a saint and jumped it even though I came in way too slow. I knew I had to work on my pace. Once we got our rhythm and pace up, the last oxer was much smoother and felt a ton better. We ended at jumping a 2’9″ oxer, which was super fun. The weirdest part for me is how amazing Monte jumps once the jumps go higher, so it was hard for me to keep my body closed, especially once he starts cracking his back and really jumping those oxers well. One important thing my trainer mentioned is that when it comes to gymnastics, the horse will always find its way out. She encouraged me to put my hands up his neck, especially during the bounce portion, and grab some mane, especially as the last jump got bigger.

The biggest takeaway from the exercise is a. I need to maintain my pace and rhythm, b. I need to work on keeping my hip angle closed when the jumps get bigger so that I am able to stay with my horse better over bigger jumps, c. stop looking at the last jump as it comes up. I noticed myself doing that, especially as the jump got higher. My trainer said, with my slow rhythm, it was like I was just a bump on a log waiting for the last jump to get there.

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Today, Luther and I had a lovely flat lesson. Again, we worked on straightness and keeping our corners squared off. After doing the same basic warm-up which included lengthening/collecting, serpentines, and circles, we did the trot cavaletti exercise. Luther always trips over his feet the first time doing a trot cavaletti exercise. It’s like he goes over the first cavaletti and doesn’t register that more are coming. I also had to work on keeping him straight and making sure that he wasn’t laying on my right aids, which he tends to do. Since he likes to lay right, I would lift my right hand up about an inch and make sure I kept my right leg on. I also do this when we circle right. This gives him a place to go in the bridle (to the left). After a few go arounds in both directions, he picked up the exercise. We also worked on adding and taking away trot strides – all of which comes from, guess what? Your leg!

We did some more flatwork which included cantering, and I had to work on maintaining Luther’s rhythm because he hates when the puddles splash up and hit his belly. We did this by circling and by using voice commands.

Finally my trainer decided to throw something slightly new at us which was working on a counter-canter. I’ve done a counter-canter with him before, but it hasn’t been for a while. We started it off just doing the counter-canter down the longside. Our first few times weren’t too successful, and he picked up the right lead. However, we eventually got the counter-canter down, and I just need to get more comfortable doing it. Luther was a rockstar and a great teacher for this exercise.

After finishing the counter-canter, we did long and low trotting in both directions to let him stretch out.

Overall, I had a great two lessons this week which makes up for my being unable to ride last weekend due to food poisoning. Hopefully I am able to take a lesson or two this upcoming weekend despite the dreary forecast.

Lesson Recap: September 20, 2015

Now that Luther is no longer being leased, I am able to ride two horses every weekend. Though this weekend I was only able to ride on Sunday (Monte was too busy being the Champion of his division at a horse show), I had two amazing lessons on Luther and Monte.

My lesson with Monte started with our usual flat warm-up. We incorporated circles and serpentines, focusing on being straight. We are also working on taking more of a feel of his mouth and getting shape. This is the hardest thing for my trainer to teach and for me to learn because it is something that has to be “felt,” and as the famous George Morris has said many times, you can’t teach a feel.

After our flat warm-up, we worked on jumping a line. The jumps were small, but we were working on adjustability. The line was set at 5 strides, but after doing the 5 strides, we went to 6 strides, then 7 strides. My trainer would switch it up and asked me to do a flowing 5 after doing a steady 7. This exercise was particularly hard for me as I am still adjusting my eye. I had to learn to see my distance at the ‘in’ element, not in the middle of the line. I also am still getting used to what the right rhythm is. Monte saved me ass quite a few times (I still can’t believe he is 6), but I am well-aware of what I need to work on.

We ended our lesson with some no hands riding. One of my biggest weaknesses as a rider is that I don’t feel I have as much hand-seat independence as I should. Riding with no hands, and eventually with no hands and no stirrups, will greatly improve that. The exercise was a bit weird for me as it is something I haven’t done in years, but I quickly got the hang of it, and it is always reward to see how much you don’t need something you think you need. I was a bit reluctant to completely let go and sometimes held onto the saddle, but my comfort level slowly grew. We did walk, trot, sit trot, and canter. I also did my downward transitions using no reins. We are going to continue this exercise to help my balance and independence, and eventually we will work up to no stirrups, for which I am actually very excited.

Next I rode Luther. I did not recap my last lesson on him, but I was pleasantly surprised with how different he was from the last time I rode him and from when I brought him to my new barn. My trainer was almost extremely complimentary of my riding. She said I looked like a completely different rider, and if I could ride him like I did at home in the show ring, I could definitely place (so that is one of my new goals).

My Sunday lesson was a semi-private lesson with Luther’s old lease rider. My trainer split it up evenly as Luther’s old lease rider is a much different level than I am. Though we did the same exercises, mine were more advanced than hers were. I have only ridden Luther one other time since he came off lease, and he is like a completely different horse. He still has the ability to get tense and a little ‘hot,’ but my trainer told me last week I look like a completely different rider on him, and I think my improvements have helped a lot with my ability to keep him calm, cool, and collected. We warmed up with flat work which included serpentines and circles. Luther is a grouchy old man, so he is one of those horses that you have to sort of make think he wanted to do what you’re asking (almost like a child). My trainer also had me do no stirrups two point one time around the ring at the walk, and if you’ve seen a full view of my ring, it is huge, and that was grueling, but I made it. I actually really like no stirrups riding because I can feel myself getting stronger, and I hope my trainer engages in No Stirrup November so I can have a whole month of getting stronger and feeling the burn.

Next, we worked on jumping the same line I jumped with Monte. We did it first at a trot. A little bit of history on Luther – he can tend to rush jumps, so trotting jumps with him is actually extremely beneficial. He was a very good boy, and we worked on him not drifting in the air by utilizing an opening rein to the left and keeping my right leg on. After trotting the jumps, we cantered them. We didn’t do the exact same exercise we did with Monte because again, we want to get across that rushing and barreling through jumps is not the way to go, so we worked on getting 6 strides and 7 strides. He was amazingly good and a completely different horse. He was very calm and took the jumps beautifully. I was very surprised and pleased!

After the jumping exercise, my trainer set up poles in a circle – or what I like to call the “circle of death.” We started at a trot, and I did them beautifully. In fact, my trainer said “touché my friend” after my last go around. However, I knew we were not going to just do them at a trot. Next was cantering.

A little about me: Cantering poles has always triggered some sort of mental panic in my mind, and I have no idea why. It’s just a pole! So this exercise was like my fear x 4. However, I trusted my trainer, and Luther was being such a good boy, that I felt we would be able to do it without him rushing. We went through it the first time, and it was pretty much almost perfect except for the last pole (you can probably hear my frustration in the video).

After perfecting that, we went to Luther’s weaker and harder direction. My trainer explained to me how I had the choice to take three different tracks; the outside track would make the lines longer and the inside track would make them shorter. Of course, I also had the option of taking the middle track. This was Luther’s harder direction, and we didn’t perfect it as much as we had to the left, but it wasn’t too shabby. We definitely had to work more on our consistency. Sometimes I would get one striding in one pole-to-pole and then another in the next pole-to-pole. I also had some issues keeping my leads consistent, but it was our first time ever doing this exercise, and with it being his weaker direction, I cut myself some slack.

Overall, my lessons this past weekend were great. I know I always say this, but I feel myself improving every ride, and I am so happy with the choice I made to switch trainers. That being said, with improvement always comes more to work on, and I am fully dedicated to reaching my full potential.

Confessions of An Aspiring Amateur: My week off & beyond

Monte being silly. Do not use without permission.

Monte being silly. Do not use without permission.

For those of you that don’t know, I recently finished my first legal job [a clerkship, a process which I will detail at some point for those of you interested in law] (a huge hurrah! from me, by the way) and began another one at a relatively large Northeast-region law firm. However, in between those two events, I was lucky enough to have a week off. As a result, I was able to ride a bit more often than I usually am now that I’ve joined the ranks of an Amateur.

I’ve missed a few lesson recaps, so I am going to bundle all of these things into one big post – though I’ll try to remain brief. During my week off, we focused on me being able to put a course together. And by that, I mean my trainer gave me a course, and said “go do it at the canter.” The first time was a bit nerve-wracking since I hadn’t jumped a course in over a year, so I had some mistakes, but by the end I had gotten it. We continued to work on that throughout the week, and my very last lesson before our away horse show was wonderful (despite having to circle in the middle because the freight train decided to come by). The big picture is that I’ve been improving greatly, and my trainer said that I am going to move up divisions. I’ve also realized and expressed that riding does not get any easier as you advance (though this isn’t a new revelation – just one I have every once in a while). The better you get, the more you have to do, and the more there is to remember!

We also attended an away horse show Labor Day weekend where I did my first ever division which means I actually participated in the jumping classes. Like I said, since I literally just began putting courses together with Monte, my week off was crunch time. I had to learn to put together a course, ride one, let go in between the in and out of a line, maintain a rhythm, trust my horse, trust myself, and get rid of my nerves all at the same time.

Luckily, my hard work paid off, and my very last lesson I jumped perfectly. It does help that my little 6 year old is amazingly sane, forgiving, and wise beyond his years.

The horse show, which was in Pennsylvania, was incredibly successful. I placed in every class I participated in but two. I brought home Reserve Champion in my first ever division (I could’ve been Champion, but I made a mistake right in front of the judge during the hack off), two blues, two thirds, and two fourths. I still have a lot of work to do, but my trainer said I’m ready to move up divisions. While I was bringing home solid blues in the “beginner” adult division, the next highest division is riders more my level, and I need to work on refining my skills so I can become a shoe-in for blues in that division as well.

I showed in all equitation classes, which I loved. I adore equitation, and I wish there were more equitation options for adults. I never got to have a junior career, so I am incredibly jealous of all of you that get to do the Big Eq and show off your amazing equitation while you are young. However, there are adult riders that start late and move up the ranks just like juniors, and I think that they should also have the opportunity to gain notoriety for looking “pretty” on a horse while still remaining effective – but alas, that is another topic for another day.

This past weekend, I began schooling higher jumps with Monte – finally! And, we aren’t doing them as singles; we are doing them as part of a course. My weakness is maintaining a solid rhythm throughout the course, so that is what I need to work on. I also tend to not let the lines “flow,” so I need to practice letting go in between the in jump and out jump so that I get my striding down. The first time I did the higher 6 stride line, I got 8 strides in between (insert embarrassed emoji here). However, once I pushed my hands up Monte’s neck, put my leg on, and let everything flow, it all improved exponentially. I also to remember that the first jump tends to set the tone for the rest of the course, so getting on rhythm to the first time is imperative. Monte had more “whoa” than “go,” so I can also whoa in a line if I need to, which is what my trainer said she would rather see. To look at the positive, my trainer said that my eye has gotten much better, and even though there are still things I need to work on, I feel much more confident jumping a course.

I also got to ride Luther for the first time in over a month since his lease is now over. Normally, I light him up with what my trainer calls my electric ass. I mounted expecting one horse, and I got a completely different one. He was calm, collected, and balanced. He listened to all my signals. Best of all, I didn’t light him up once. My trainer had nothing but compliments during my entire lesson, and she even said I looked like a completely different rider (in a good way). Orangutan, crotch hands no more! I am straighter; my hands are in the right position; and I am going through all three gaits without getting him crazy and hot. I may even start showing him in the 2’6″ equitation classes that are offered at shows.

Me & Monte. Do not use without permission.

Me & Monte. Do not use without permission.

My trainer had to cancel our lessons scheduled for Sunday, so I hacked on my own. I only rode Monte because I was short on time (football season, baby!) and I was super tired from my lessons on Saturday. Monte and I worked on the flat and did a few little cavaletti which is a huge deal for me because I never would’ve imagined I’d feel comfortable enough to jump on my own, let alone with a 6 year old. (To clarify, my boyfriend was with me, so I wasn’t really alone. I don’t recommend jumping by yourself, no matter how experienced you are – you never know when something could go wrong – even on the best, most well-trained horse).

I got all my distances, and my boyfriend was kind enough to video me so I could look back and see what I needed to work on. My leg is scrunching a bit at the canter – probably because Monte is such a push ride, and I feel the need to keep him going, so that is on my list of things to do (STOP SCRUNCHING!) The positives are that, for the most part, I’ve stopped being so active with my arms, and I also am sitting up way more. But, you know how the saying goes, fix one thing and find another thing to work on. That should be a motto in the horse world.

Below is a video from our hack today.

Overall, I have been improving, and things are getting much better. I can feel myself getting both mentally and physically stronger. I’m also learning a lot more about training – not just because my horse is 6 – but because we also have a lot of green, young horses at my barn that often get training rides during my lesson from my trainer’s assistant. Observing him helps me learn and also gives me ideas of how to apply certain concepts to my riding. I am looking forward to schooling at a larger jump height and competing in the 2’6″ hunter and equitation divisions. I’ve decided my goal this year is to qualify for and compete at M&S Finals.

Wish me luck!