The Legal Equestrian

long time, no talk

hi guys.

i know i haven’t been on here in quite a bit, and there has been a reason for that.

i went through a series of unfortunate events (not meant to be funny or “punny” in any way) that caused me to seriously question whether i wanted to continue riding and/or being a part of the equestrian community.

i also let my mental health slip too far, and for someone that has suffered from anxiety since she was little and has had on and off bouts of depression since she was 16, this was the worst thing i could have done.

for those of you curious, i am not ashamed at all of my mental health or of speaking about it. why? because everyone has their own story. everyone has their own issues. some of us are just more private than others. with the amount of mental health issues i’ve been exposed to, whether it be from myself, friends, family, or others with whom i’ve come in contact, i have vowed myself to always be an advocate for mental health and to never be ashamed to speak on it.

but, i have worked on myself this year. i’ve worked on myself hard. my love for riding has come back. i have been off of twitter for almost a year, and to be quite frank, that is the best decision i could have made for myself.

i am writing this to let y’all know i have not given up. i have rekindled my love for riding, and i am trying to make up for the time i lost when i was riddled with anxiety, going through a ton of shit, and unable to move sometimes because i was so paralyzingly sad, hurt, scared, and more.

the one thing i learned is i don’t need to care about anyone else’s thoughts but my own because i will never be liked by anyone. i will never have 100% of my audience agreeing with me. i will always have someone who is trying to bring me down.

but as i said in the very beginning of when this blog went viral, hate is a sign i’m doing something right.

i no longer want to talk about the unfortunate, negative things that happened.

i feel at home on a horse again.

my migraines have gone from 20 a month to 3 – 5 a month thanks to a brand new drug called Aimovig (i plan on doing a post on this miracle drug, but if you suffer from migraines, please ask your doctor about this medication or research it. it truly has changed my life).

i plan on relaunching this blog, and i plan on doing it while being my true, authentic, genuine self. i will not censor. i will not post something to please others (or cease from posting something to please others). i plan on providing you with the content you all have come to love + expect from this medium. i have new rider interviews lined up, new product reviews lined up, and tons of ideas for brand new content.

but most importantly, beyond me finally coming back to the online space, i want to thank those of you that have stuck with me during this difficult time. the messages asking about me, the texts seeing how i’m doing, the engagement on my Instagram (my main social medium right now), etc.: they have all meant the world to me, and i am so grateful that you guys are my audience because i truly have one of the best audiences in the world.

so thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking with me through the good and the bad, through the rumors and the truths (yup, there’s still rumors circulating out there i’m told). for those of you that have a preconceived notion of me or feel negatively about me but still read this page, i hope you can find it in you to reevaluate your feelings on me and my content and give it another chance. people can change, and the self-work i’ve done this year has been mostly for myself but also for everyone in my life, whether they are close friends or people i barely know.

thank you again, and i look forward to an amazing, quality content filled, beautiful 2019 filled with all of the things i love.

I’m back.

Hi everyone,

It has been quite a while, but I needed to take a very much needed break from the online world, especially social media.

If you have been following me closely, you may have noticed that my Twitter has been completely deactivated. I also have been using Facebook sparingly. Basically, my only use of social media has been Instagram.

I do plan on detailing what I have been through the past few months – or even six months – because it has been a lot. Some of it to do with riding, and some of it personal – which unfortunately ended up affecting my riding.

I am looking forward to bringing you new product reviews, rider interviews, and other informative articles as well as news. I would like this blog to be a positive, yet authentic, place for equestrians to go to of any age.

If you’ve stood by me through the ups and downs, I thank you immensely. Your unwavering support has been so so crucial to my sanity and to knowing that keeping this blog is the right thing to do.

Don’t wash your hair everyday? I’ve got the best dry shampoo on the market

OUAI Dry Shampoo Foam. Picture Credit: TheGloss.com

So, for any of you that know me, you know I have super long hair (like down to my ass long). You also know that I HATE washing my hair. Plus, according to many studies, such as this one from Bustle, it’s actually healthier NOT to wash your hair every single day.

I’ve tried many dry shampoos. For all of them, they did one thing REALLY well, but then I had another complaint.. for example, a hair spy type dry shampoo really made me hair look like it had been washed the day before, but it left my hair feeling super crunchy.

I recently read an article about OUAI Dry Shampoo Foam. The article was super convincing.. as in, it featured a guy who had locks as long as mine, and he clearly hadn’t washed them in a few days because they were VISIBLY greasy.

So, needless to say, the article got my attention.

I decided to try OUAI Dry Shampoo Foam. I tend to go approximately 3-4 days between washes, but I decided to push the envelope on this one, since it was so highly recommend, that I pushed it to 5 days.

On the 4th day, I applied the dry shampoo. It comes out as a foam, and you basically work it through your hair (roots and ends) like you would any other foam-based hair product.

This is my hair after application of OUAI Dry Shampoo Foam.

This is my hair after application of OUAI Dry Shampoo Foam.

I followed that step, made sure it was all worked through, and then I ran a brush through my hair and ruffled it up like I usually do because I’m still on that messy, bedhead look for my hair.

I was super impressed at first application. My hair immediately looked as if I had washed it that day or the day before. There was no oil (my roots don’t get SUPER oily, but sometimes it does get a little visible hence my search for a good dry shampoo.) My hair had more volume, but not too much, which was perfect because I don’t like my hair to be any thicker than it already is. It also smelled amazing – like it had been an actual shampoo.

I left it in for a day, making day 5 since I had washed my hair. My hair still looked like it had been recently washed. I had the same volume. My hair looked super healthy and was shiny. My hair didn’t feel greasy at all from having the product in my hair overnight. My roots were not oily, and my hair even smelled amazing, still.

The articles on this dry shampoo are not hype. This shampoo really is one of the best ones I’ve tried, and it is going to be my go-to shampoo from now on. It’s super easy to work with and apply. It is actually effective, and it doesn’t weigh your hair down, make it feel greasy, or make your hair have a grey/white sheen to it (some of the powders I’ve tried.)

unnamed-31Best of all, it is paraben free AND they do not test on animals!

I saw a bunch of tweets when I tweeted I was going to be reviewing a dry shampoo that worked WONDERS, so I have a feeling a lot of people struggle with finding the right dry shampoo for their locks. It retails for $36.64, and it can be found here.

To read the article that inspired me to try this shampoo, click here. It shows the shampoo being used on two different hair types and lengths, and it’s a great way to see how exactly to apply the product.

And, if you try it out, leave me a comment below or tweet me and let me know what you thought!

 

I was not paid to write an article on this product. This item was purchased out my sole curiosity, and I decided to write about it because I know finding a good dry shampoo is hard.

To my self-doubts: Love, An Equestrian

Hi all – I know I have not been as active on the blog.

But.

That’s because I have been investing time in my new equine law practice! You can find it here.

And, I’ve been riding more and unfortunately, having more migraines, which means riding less.

So, I was riding more and less at two different times.

Anyway, my “riding more” was going really awesome. We were working on being softer to jumps, distance, rhythm, me keeping more horse’s body straight, getting leads properly over jumps, all of that.

My “riding less” means I’m writing this having not ridden for two weeks and not have jumped in a month.

Yikes.

Anyway, I was laid up with a migraine watching the WCHR Hunter Spectacular on Saturday night, and of course I saw the greats – Scott Stewart, John French – they came to Sophie Gochman. When they introduced her, she was introduced as being an “eighth grader at [insert school name here].”

And I thought, this eighth grader is competing in one of the biggest hunter classes in the country, and I’ve yet to even break into the Adult Amateurs.

I had a total meltdown and self-doubt moment, and I know each of us has has this, whether you’re a seasoned junior, an adult just starting out, or a late-bloomer when it came to showing or jumping. I’m sure professionals even experience these moments, too.

So, being me, I love writing letters to things to get negative feelings out. I wrote a letter. To my self-doubt.

—

Dear Self-Doubt:

I know your entire purpose is to make me feel like I’ll never make it there, like I’ll never be a professional or experienced Amateur. Its purpose is to get in my head so bad that sometimes I wonder why I’m even riding. Its purpose is to sit there and tell me all these stories that simply are not true.

Because, your self-doubt is just telling you a bad story – it’s letting the competition, or the money, or the nice expensive tack, or the fancy imported Warmbloods get in the way of one thing you have that will make you more successful than anything else: Your passion.

Your passion is what lights you up. When you ride horses you forget about any other problems you may have. You feel more confident, more disciplined, more mature. You feel at one with the horse while still recognizing it’s two hearts and two souls working together. You can’t wait until your next trip to the barn, your next show, your next lesson.

This is your passion.

So, to the beginner, don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To the equestrian who never did the Big Eq: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To the late-bloomer to competing: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To the Amateur fighting to become a professional: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To the equestrian, any age, any rank, who feels he or she won’t be as successful as the equestrians with the money: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To every equestrian everywhere, no matter what their “self-doubt” is about: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

2016 in review: What I’ve learned & my goals for next year

14915463_10207637596761392_2245396196850124972_nHi all! I know it’s been a while. I’ve been swamped with other projects and with riding as much as I can now that my migraines have been improving & my concussion seems to have fully healed (it only took a year!).

I know it’s only December 13th, but I’ve been itching to do a year in review and to lay out my goals for next year. And as always, I have my usual disclaimer that my goals may be somewhat ambitious. I like being ambitious. It keeps me on my toes, and it keeps me pushing forward and working hard for what I want to accomplish.

First, my year in review:

I learned a lot this year. Although my riding time was affected a lot because of my concussion and my doctor’s orders to stay out of the saddle for about 4 months, when I was allowed back in the saddle, I came back with a vengeance. Here’s my top 10 lessons from 2016.

  • Get everything in writing, even if you trust the person. Verbal assertions mean nothing. Also, I should know you need everything in writing, especially as an attorney, but I let my non-attorney mind take over for a split second, and it definitely cost me. Lesson learned. I’ll never do that again.
  • Listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
  • Have confidence in yourself and your riding ability. I’m lucky to have a trainer I trust wholeheartedly and that I know won’t ask me to do something I am not ready to do, so even if I am nervous, I have gotten better at pushing that aside and just going for it.
  • Take all the time you need. Riding isn’t going anywhere. Neither is showing. Taking time off of riding to fully heal was super hard for me, but I knew it was something I had to do, especially given the severity of my concussion and of the neck injury I sustained.
  • Let any hate or jealousy you receive motivate you. While the deactivation of my Ask.fm has really cut down on the hate I get, it took me a while to actually get rid of my Ask. Why? Well, I did also get nice messages and messages from people, who didn’t necessarily want to make their identity known, asking for help, so I didn’t want to cut off those individuals’ method of talking to me. However, the effects of the hate eventually got to me, and I decided it was best for my health and mindset that I just get rid of the medium. I am still here to talk to anyone who needs it, and I promise not to judge anyone’s questions or situations. I also promise to keep anything you say confidential.
  • Making connections in the horse world is extremely important. I have been lucky enough to make a ton of connections through this blog and through other things in which I am involved. I have found that these connections have helped me along the way, whether it is with excellent customer service from a company, opening up other opportunities for me, or giving me friendships that I hope will last a lifetime. These connections have been with other equestrians and with equestrian/equine companies.
  • Don’t get bogged down in the drama. I know this is a HUGE revelation, but the horse world is filled with drama (I’m obviously being sarcastic). I used to get involved with a lot of drama, and it bit me in the ass. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and on my social media, and now I only get involved if it is absolutely necessary (Note: If I see you bullying someone, I will step in. Bullying is never okay).
  • If you are feeling burnt out by riding, take a break. Even after I was given the okay to ride, I felt myself getting burnt out by riding halfway through this year. I felt like I was losing my passion and love for the sport, and I had to drag myself out to the barn most days (and that’s if I was lucky; some days I just said ‘f it’ and didn’t even go). I’ve seen a lot of riders experience this same feeling, and I always advise taking a break. Like I said, riding isn’t going anywhere; neither is showing. Don’t feel pressured to keep riding or showing if you’re just not into it at the moment. Sometimes we need to take something out of our lives to realize just how much we love it and need it.
  • Find your “equestrian tribe.” I have been extremely lucky to have an amazing trainer, who also happens to be one of my best friends. But, I also have been extremely lucky to have finally found a group of riders that support one another and are not concerned with drama and trying to one up each other. In the past, I’ve found myself at barns that have riders who are more concerned with being better than one another rather than honoring the fact that each equestrian is on their own journey, and that equestrian should be supported, not ridiculed or talked about behind their back. Who cares what height you’re jumping, what horse you ride, or where you are in your career. Support is the best thing you can give another equestrian, and I finally found that in the great group of equestrians of which I am a part.
  • Trust the process. After I was cleared to ride, I took about 10 lessons and was jumping 3′ – 3’3″. I was over the moon. Am I jumping that height every lesson? No (and, it’s best to preserve your horse anyway. I know a lot of riders that don’t jump very high at home, even if they’re competing at a certain height, simply because it’s better for the horse). At first I was like, “well, why am I not jumping this height all the time now?” There’s a reason behind everything your trainer does. Every exercise I do in a lesson has a goal behind it. For example, Monte likes to land on the left lead after jumps simply because it’s his stronger direction. I do a lot of work, over smaller jumps, that focuses on setting him up correctly so he gets the right lead (if we are tracking right or turning right after the jump) or focuses on me asking for the right lead in the air. If I was doing this over bigger jumps, especially with me being new to jumping bigger, I would be focusing on a ton of different things over a big jump, such as keeping my heels down, releasing enough, not crashing on his back on the landing side, getting my two point correct, keeping my leg stable, getting the right distance, etc., and adding getting the correct lead to that would just make everything overwhelming. Of course as I become more comfortable, all of those things won’t be so overwhelming, but I need to trust that every single lesson and every single exercise has a purpose, and that is to make me a better rider. On top of that, I have become a much better rider than I was this time last year. While Monte is an amazing horse that most of the time seems like an old soul, he can have green moments. Now, I am able to ride those green moments and help with his training. Just last week, we did an exercise that he had never done, and I pretty much nailed it. A year ago, I would not have been able to do it confidently (or at all), and doing it confidently did what? Gave him confidence and helped me execute the exercise in the exact right way so as not to confuse him or get him frustrated.
Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.

Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.

As I was typing that list, I realized I had way more than 10 things to list as lessons from 2016 – but I decided to cap it at that.

Now for my goals. As for my goals that I laid out before 2016 started, I am not sure if I accomplished all of them nor do I remember exactly what they were, but I do know I accomplished at least some.

  • Be jumping 3′ – 3’3″ consistently;
  • Begin showing in the 3′ Amateur Adult Hunters & 3′ Adult Eq. (My trainer thinks I can make it to this level by the summer if I keep my progress up and keep working hard);
  • Jump 3’6″ for the first time and, if I am being ambitious, school 3’6″ occasionally;
  • Find a way to get rid of my show nerves;
  • Continue to improve my riding, especially when it comes to training horses and working with green horses;
  • Become a textbook picture perfect hunter rider;
  • Find my next young hunter that I can hopefully help bring along more with the assistance of my trainer;
  • Start dabbling in the jumpers (I know I said this last year, but now that my confidence is higher and my riding is much improved, maybe now I am ready);
  • Get Monte qualified for Indoors & Zone Finals;

Ambitious? Yes. Totally unrealistic? I don’t think so.

Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.

Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.

Here’s the thing. It’s great to set ambitious goals, and I love people that shoot for the moon. The key is: Tweet: Don't be attached to your goals. .@legaleq Don’t be attached to your goals (Click the bird to tweet this quote). In metaphysical & spiritual principle, this makes them much less likely to be accomplished. It’s okay if you don’t accomplish all of them – or any of them. But, listing out your goals makes it much more likely that you will reach them, and if you back them up with hard work, you’re also much more likely to put checkmarks next to everything you want to accomplish.

I am wishing you all tons of success in the New Year. I know 2016 was rough, but I hope you at least were able to accomplish some of what you set out to do last January.

Got goals for 2017 or lessons you learned this year? Let me know! Comment below or shoot me a tweet.

Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.

Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.