The Legal Equestrian

Confessions of An Aspiring Amateur: That winter funk

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Chapeau & I – my eq/jumper lease.

So here in New Jersey, the weather is crazy. One day is in the 60s; the next day it’s 30s and snowing. This has wreaked havoc on my health and frankly, my motivation to ride. I am hoping, wishing, praying this is a winter funk, and that once spring rolls around, I’ll roll out of it and get my mojo back.

The truth is, despite my progress this past (almost) year, I’ve felt deflated, discouraged, and dejected. I’ve had to make some hard decisions, and I’ve also had to make a hard decision to be less personal when it comes to my blog account. While I love sharing my life with you guys, the hate I get from some people is not worth it, and I think it has contributed to this funk I’ve been in (not to give you haters the power, but I’m being honest here).

I have big plans for myself this upcoming year. I’m going to be starting in the low adult hunter and equitation and perhaps the 2’6″ jumpers. I’ve signed up for my very first clinic (2’6″ section, but that’s better than nothing). I am super excited about what I have coming up for me, but the motivation to get my ass in gear is so. damn. hard.

I’ve pinpointed some things that may be contributing to this lack of motivation. Sometimes I think I’ve lost my love for riding, and I think wanting to be super competitive (a goal of mine for many years now) has contributed to that. There’s pressure. A lot of it. But I put that on myself. There is no one doing that but me. I want to qualify for M&S Finals this year. I want to be in the 3′ by December (lofty, but possible given my progress thus far). I have the drive. It’s in there somewhere. I just gotta pull it out again. I gotta find that love again. I gotta tap into that passion.

Despite all this, what’s not helping?

  • The unpredictable weather;
  • My health;
  • Doubters;
  • Lack of support from my friends;
  • Nostalgia;
  • The pressure I put on myself because I am a perfectionist at heart – I always have been, whether it’s grades, my career, my relationships.

So, what am I going to do? Well, the weather is something over which I have no control, though I wish I did. I was just in Florida for 4 days and felt great. The weather was beautiful. Sunny, 60s and 70s, not a cloud in the sky. Too bad we can’t transplant that up to this part of the east coast.

My health? I am working diligently with my doctor on that. Since my concussion in October, I have been working with my doctor on finding a solution to my post-traumatic headache syndrome. Unfortunately, those prone to chronic migraines (raises hand) are more prone to post-traumatic headache syndrome after a concussion. We are tweaking my medicine; trying physical therapy; and may even try a chiro or acupuncturist – something I’ve been reluctant to do in the past. However, I can live my life like this – that nagging twinge of pain in my head every day. It certainly makes riding harder and less appealing. Even though I’m super young right now, I’m even considering Botox (studies show one shot of Botox leaves you migraine free for at least three months at a time). I am hoping once spring really comes around and the weather steadies, I won’t have to worry about this (my headaches are triggered by pressure changes – another thing I can’t control), but we will see. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Doubters and lack of support from my friends are something I need to deal with personally. No one knows me or my riding career but me. No one has a say but me. Whether it’s my finances, my show career, what I’m doing – my trainer and I are the only ones who really know the ins and outs of my training, my capabilities, and my progress. Something that people need to realize is social media is curated. We share what we want to share. We don’t always share the positive or the negative. Remember that next time you make a comment about someone’s life. And another thing, you don’t know what the other person is going through. We each have a story; you do too. Your hurtful, negative, jealousy-driven words are more hurtful than you think. Or, if you do know the effect of your words, you’re just a jerk. Sorry.

Nostalgia. Lately, I’ve been feeling nostalgic about the days where there was no pressure to compete. Riding was just riding. I knew I was working up to something – but I wasn’t there yet. I gotta take the pressure off myself, which also addresses that aspect. I have always been a perfectionist. Hell, I got upset if I got less than an A in a class in school. It’s something I need to work on and am working on, but because it’s been engrained in my since I literally started school, it takes some time to break that habit. We’re talking 20+ years of perfectionism here. I need to let go; know it’s okay to make mistakes; and know that I am not always going to be perfect, no matter how much I want to be.

So, that’s why I’ve been absent lately. I’ve been dealing with some heavy stuff – some stuff I’m not addressing in tis post. I appreciate your patience and your loyalty to the blog, and I promise I have more content coming up soon.

By the way, speaking of perfectionism, George Morris’ autobiography is coming out very soon. Get it here! I’ve seen early reviews (totally jealous I wasn’t lucky enough to get an early copy), and it looks to be a great read. Don’t worry – I will be doing my own review once I get my hands on a copy and since my trainer rode with him and knows him pretty well, I absolutely will be able to give more insight (what I can anyway. Some things do stay private).

And if you don’t get the perfectionism reference, here’s his famous quote:

Perfect practice makes perfect.

Happy reading!

Confessions of An Aspiring Amateur: Revelations & Answers to Q&As.

I wanted to address some things that happened to me last week that were frankly disappointing, disheartening, and took a toll on me physically and mentally. I was bullied based on a tweet where I said I was trying a jumper that had future GP potential (who, by the way, is only doing the 2’6″ with her current rider, and will be going higher this current year; she will actually be ready for GP level by the time I theoretically am). My tweet started all sorts of controversy, including some weird impression that I thought I could just skip steps when it came to horse showing and riding.

After being sick for two weeks and having a lot of time to contemplate my choices, I’ve decided not to give the jumper a try. This is NOT because of the bullying I encountered. I really thought about my goals, where I am in my riding, and how long it would take me to the GP level, if I would ever get there, and I decided that right now, this wasn’t the best decision for me.

I’ve also tweeted previously about considering going pro. I’ve decided to put those goals on hold and focus on becoming a really good Amateur (and bringing awareness to the Amateur community in regards to equestrian companies and USEF). Once I reach that level, I will consider the professional level. Do I have the horsemanship knowledge to be a professional? Yeah, I do. But do I have the riding mileage? No. I am only at the 2’6″ level. I don’t want the pressure of moving up fast, and while I will always have aspirational goals, I don’t want them to get in the way of my riding. If I move up quicker than expected, great! If not, that’s totally okay. And I am okay with that.

To answer a few questions:

Do I think I can just skip steps in showing a go from doing the 2’6″ to the 3’6″? No. Absolutely not. We all have to pay our dues, and I absolutely know that.

Am I ‘dumb and wealthy’? While some people may think so, I am very careful with how I spend my money, and I am far from dumb. My tweet may have been on a whim and out of excitement, but after much thinking, I came down to earth. I simply was excited.

Why am I stepping Luther down in the levels and potentially selling and/or leasing him out to teach children? Luther is severely arthritic because he was not taken care of properly before I purchased him. It is only fair to him to make sure he is not pushed beyond his limits.

It doesn’t look like you’ve mastered Luther. You, anon, are basing this off of the very few videos you’ve seen of me riding him. My current trainer does not video a lot while she is teaching, so you really don’t know how I am with Luther now than how I was with my previous trainer. Additionally, during most shows, he was either a. lame or b. full leased out, so I did not have an opportunity to show him. I had to focus on showing other horses that didn’t have the same issues he did.

That is just addressing some of the few criticisms and questions I’ve gotten. I hope this clears up some of the questions and controversy around my riding. I know where I am, where I need to be, and what I need to do.

 

Ten of my favorite things for 2016

Photo Courtesy of DanielleLaPorte.com

Danielle LaPorte Desire Map Planner: This planner is all about how you want to feel and what you will do to create that feeling in your life. It isn’t about all the plans you have and how you have so much to do that your head might explode, no. It asks you to first identify how you would like to feel that day and then has prompts to help you get to that feeling. Pretty rad, if you ask me. I linked you to the weekly planner as the daily planner is sold out, but it’s the same basic concept.

What Would Blair Waldorf Do? Mug: As y’all should know, I am a huge Gossip Girl fan, and I adore Blair Waldorf. The Trendy Sparrow has a whole line of Gossip Girl inspired items, including this mug which I absolutely adore. It’s a must have for any Blair Waldorf fan.

iPad Pro: My dad got me this as a present, and I am in love with it. It’s rather large, but it allows me to get all sorts of stuff done because of it’s large screen and easy-to-use features. Most apps have been formatted to fit the screen and work with the iPad Pro. You can also buy an awesome keyboard to go along with it so that you can type as if you were on a computer. Finally, if you’re an avid artist (which I am not), you can buy the Apple Pen which allows you to draw and create realistic looking artwork right on the iPad. The pen also allows you to write as if you were writing on a piece of paper. My dad has the pen, and I’ve used it – it’s extremely impressive.

Spire: This little contraption is actually designed to let you know when you are calm, when you are tense, when you are active, and when you are focusing. If it senses that you have been tense for some time, it prompts you – through an app you download on your phone – to do something to cut the tension, such as take a deep breathe or meditate. It keeps track of your calm streaks, your focus streaks, and your activity streaks and lets you know how you’ve been doing on any particular day. I like this because it lets me be more mindful about how I am throughout the day, and it informs me of whether I am particularly stressful or upset and then helps me take my mind off that upset and move on to something else. It’s super easy to use. You just clip it to your bra or to your waistband (somewhere it can measure your breathing), and voila! It begins to monitor how you are feeling.

Miracles Now by Gabby Bernstein: I have been an avid fan of Gabby Bernstein for over 5 years now, and I adore pretty much everything she puts out. She is a self-proclaimed spirit junkie, practitioner of A Course in Miracles, and a “feel good” role model for our generation that is so jaded by everything. What I love about Miracles Now is that it has practical, every day tips inside it to help you be your best self and practice happiness and spiritual principles. One of my favorite things to do is to ask the Universe to guide me to the spiritual lesson I most need to learn that day. I will then open the book to a random page, and 9 times out of 10, I will have been guided to a lesson I absolutely needed to read and put into practice on that particular day. I highly recommend checking her out if you haven’t already. If you’re a newbie to spirituality, meditation, the law of attraction, and being a “spirit junkie,” I also highly recommend her book “Spirit Junkie” or her book “May Cause Miracles,” which are easier step-by-step guides to living your best, happiest life while incorporating spiritual principles.

Photo Credit: LLBean.com

LL Bean Wicked Good Moccasins: These are one of my favorite things on the planet. They’re super soft, super warm, and I literally will wear them anywhere. They come in a variety of colors. I own the navy blue ones and the brown ones. They are perfect for pairing with a hot cup of tea on a cold winter’s day.

Yogi Bedtime Tea: I have a hard time sleeping, which you may have noticed if you follow me on Twitter. This tea is all-natural and contains ingredients that help you become drowsy and sleepy without the sleep hangover when you wake up the next morning. I have found it to be very helpful when it comes to my sleepiness. Yogi also has a ton of other teas for different ailments. I, right now, am a huge fan of their Echinacea Immune Support Tea as I feel myself getting sick.

USANA Vitamins: USANA is a company based on wellness, health, and being your healthiest self. I take their vitamins daily, and I feel a difference in myself on a daily basis. USANA provides you with a health and wellness exam where you can detail your lifestyle (privately, of course), and it will tell you what USANA products will work best for your lifestyle. Additionally, there is also a huge business opportunity using network marketing. You can sign up to be a preferred customer under someone else or you can harness your entrepreneurial spirit and create your own USANA business where you sell their products to all the health fanatics in your life. I know many individuals that use and love their products. One of my favorite things is their meal replacement shakes, which is delicious and really does work in terms of curbing hunger. If you’d like to check out more, go here.

Photo Credit: HealYourLife.com

Miracles Now Card Deck by Gabby Bernstein: Another thing of which I am a huge fan is Gabby Bernstein’s card deck that contains inspirational messages on each card. I like to pick a card each morning when I wake up that will set the tone for the day. What should I work on or remember that day? The card is usually spot-on, and I have seen a huge improvement in my life since beginning to incorporate them into my daily practice.

BarkBox: This is really only applicable if you own a dog, but I signed up for a 6 month subscription (which may get extended) when I got Jack. You simply tell BarkBox what size dog you have, and each month you get a box filled with toys and treats appropriate for your dog. Each month also has a theme too. For example, last month’s theme was “New York City.” The toys included were a squeaky taxi toy and a squeaky Statue of Liberty ball. There was also a treat bag in there called “Paw”strami, a fun stimulating toy where you hide treats inside and your dog has to work extra hard to get them out, and a useful item which was a flexible travel bowl – perfect for when you’re on the go but need to feed your dog or give him/her water. BarkBox also has a store on its website that has adorable, unique toys. My favorite right now is “The Dognald,” a replica of Donald Trump, and “Hillary Kitten,” a replicable of – you guessed it – Hillary Clinton.

Bonus Favorite Thing: Coconut Oil: This was recommended to me by my good friend Hannah, and I decided to finally give it a try toward the end of the summer. Coconut Oil has a ton of health benefits including:

  • Helping burn fat;
  • Killing bacteria, viruses, and fungi;
  • Curbing hunger;
  • Improving cholesterol;
  • Protecting hair (it’s great to use as a deep conditioner);
  • Moisturizing skin (it’s great as an after shave treatment);
  • Boosting brain function;

I’ve used coconut oil as a deep conditioner, and it has made my hair super soft, silky, and smooth. Make sure you use the coconut oil as a deep conditioner before you wash your hair; otherwise, your hair might come out too oily. I also always use coconut oil after I shave. It helps prevent ingrown hairs and razor burn, and it also leaves my skin feeling soft and smooth.

ps. Coconut Oil is also really good for dogs.

So there you have it: my favorite things for 2016! I’m sure more will come up, but right now, this is what came to mind.

What are your favorite non-horse-related things this upcoming year? Let me know in the comments below or tweet me!

Confessions of An Aspiring Amateur: New year, new start

I know that title is incredibly cliche; however, I feel as though I’ve been absent the past few weeks, and I wanted to update my readers on what’s been going on with me.

I began a new lease on January 1st. It is with an equitation horse that can also help me cross over into the jumpers. He is a total teacher, and I can feel myself improving already. His name is Chapeau, which means ‘hat’ in French. He is 17.2hh and a Holsteiner. He’s a bit older, but that is what I need right now to help me improve my jumping and my riding on Monte, though I have gotten stronger over the past few months.

I plan on doing the Low Adult Equitation division with Chapeau, which is the 2’6″, and the low jumpers – anywhere from 2′ to 2’6″ depending on what my trainer thinks I’m ready for. Getting into the jumper ring will definitely be new for me, but I am excited for the challenge and the prospect. And, of course, I will continue to do the hunters on Monte.

Chapeau & I.

Chapeau & I.

I’ve also included some videos to show what I have been working on. My biggest weakness right now is maintaining rhythm through turns and keeping my hips back instead of pushing them too far forward over the pommel. I have been majorly working on my release and lengthening my leg. I’ve also been trying to remember it’s the quality of the canter not necessarily focusing on finding the right distance.

I have been schooling between 2′ and 2’6″, but the highest I have jumped on him (in a single jump only) has been 3’3″. He is a total saint, a great teacher, and takes care of his rider. He allows me to work on me which is a huge plus.

I am excited for what this year has to bring. My goals for this year are to:

  • Continue to improve my riding;
  • Continue to improve my horsemanship;
  • Qualify for M&S Adult Equitation Finals;
  • Possibly qualify for M&S Adult Hunter Finals;
  • Get into the jumper ring & do it smoothly, technically correct, and without focusing on going super fast or being unsafe;
  • Improve my jumping exponentially;
  • Be able to do more complicated equitation tests;
  • Show more than I did last year;
  • Reach 3′ by the end of the year*

Again, these are just goals. I may not read all of them, but I’ve found that writing the goals down and having a supportive team behind me has helped in helping me reach my goals and beyond.

*: My trainer thinks this is entirely possible based on the progress I’ve made already with Chapeau and Monte. It is a stretch, but one I am willing to put on my goals list. If I reach it, that would be fantastic. If not, that’s okay too!

ps. My horse Monte is up for lease, or for sale to the right home. Check out his ad on BigEq.com here. I would ideally love to find a junior to compete him in the 3′ while he campaigns in the pre-greens this year. The lease is in-house only, so you would have to be willing to train with my trainer, who is extremely qualified. You can check out our website here to get an idea of her qualifications and experience. My horse Luther is also up for lease as well. His ad can be viewed here. He can teach riders of all ages and do all three rings; total schoolmaster. Email me with any questions!

So, what’s been going on with you guys? Keep me updated in the comments below or tweet me!

Using your best judgment versus your rider’s judgment

I was riding my horse a couple weeks ago, and we had an accident while going over a jump. I went flying off of him sideways, landed on my back, and then my head cracked into the ground. Hard. I immediately felt a headache coming on, and I did what you are always supposed to do after a fall like that, lay still for a few minutes to make sure everything is functioning. Could I wiggle my fingers and toes? Was there any part of my body that I couldn’t move? Everything was okay – well, at that point, mostly because my adrenaline was still going – so I did the next thing we always do after a fall, I got back on.

Because my head was hurting so bad, my trainer only had my trot once around the ring both ways, and while I was cooling out my horse, the barn owner asked me if I was sure I was feeling okay. I replied yes, aside from a bad headache, and then she pointed out to me that I was slurring my speech. They promptly got me off my horse, and I called my boyfriend to see if he could come pick me up because they didn’t want me to drive. He came to get me and drove us home in my car.

While I was waiting for him, I felt sleepiness setting in (Note: Do not go to sleep immediately after you’ve sustained a concussion. This is very dangerous. You must wait some time before doing so, and you must have someone wake you every few hours for the next 12 hours after you’ve sustained the concussion to make sure that nothing has gotten worse and that you are still functional). But, I didn’t feel like I had to go to the doctor. After all, this wasn’t my first head fall, and I had dealt with the last one I got just fine without visiting the emergency room.

After getting home, I laid down in a dark room, and within a few hours, I was vomiting severely. Did I go to the emergency room? Nope. Call me stubborn if you will. But, in my defense, I figured I was vomiting because of the headache pain. For those of you who suffer from migraines, you know that migraine pain can be a trigger for severe nausea and vomiting, and I honestly thought that the head pain was causing me to throw up.

24 hours later, I was still vomiting. What else was I experiencing? Severe balance issues; a feeling of being pulled to the left constantly when I walked (vertigo); severe headache; a feeling of discomfort; nausea; sensitivity to any type of light; a hard time remembering tiny details; and more.

I finally went to the emergency room two days after the accident. It was confirmed I had a concussion. I was given 3 days off of work and sent home. I returned to work Friday, worked a 9 hour day, and came home exhausted, feeling defeated, and feeling like I had taken a huge step backwards.

I intended on trying to ride that weekend, but it turned out I still wasn’t well enough. I couldn’t even dress myself without falling over. Below is a bruise I sustained from falling after trying to put my pants on one day.

I visited my primary care physician on Monday, and she told me that I had returned to work entirely too soon, and I needed more time off to heal. My symptoms, while improving, were still present (I lost my balance just this morning), and I was starting to feel the effects of post-concussion syndrome. So, another doctor’s note later, I had another week off work. It’s been quite a boring one, but I am feeling a lot better (as you can see by my blog updates and use of social media/the computer).

So, what’s my point in telling you all of this? As riders, we often have falls or get injured, and we want to get back to it right away. I know I did, and I know how frustrated I was when my doctor told me I needed to stay on bedrest for another week. I’ve heard many riders tell me that they ignore doctors’ orders to take a break from riding after a serious injury or a concussion. In fact, one of the main reasons I didn’t want to go to the doctor was because I knew they were going to tell me I had to take time off of riding (and they did: 1 – 2 weeks).

But, when you sustain a severe injury, whether it’s a concussion, sprain, broken bone, or something else, sometimes we need to give our bodies time to heal. Because if we don’t, and god forbid something else happens, we could be setting ourselves back even further.

I will be returning to riding soon, and I’ve decided to take things slow. In fact, I think, after much thought (bed rest with nothing else to do will do that to ya), I will be putting off my search for a lease horse for equitation as well as showing, until I am comfortable again with jumping. I don’t know how I am going to feel when I am asked to jump a jump for the first time after falling, but hopefully, I still have my confidence and am okay because I have come so far in such a short amount of time.

So please, if you are severely injured, or even moderately injured, use your best judgment – not your rider’s judgment. What’s the difference? Often, our rider’s judgment wants us to return as quickly as possible whereas our best judgment knows better and knows we need the time to heal.