February 21, 2017

To my self-doubts: Love, An Equestrian

Hi all – I know I have not been as active on the blog.

But.

That’s because I have been investing time in my new equine law practice! You can find it here.

And, I’ve been riding more and unfortunately, having more migraines, which means riding less.

So, I was riding more and less at two different times.

Anyway, my “riding more” was going really awesome. We were working on being softer to jumps, distance, rhythm, me keeping more horse’s body straight, getting leads properly over jumps, all of that.

My “riding less” means I’m writing this having not ridden for two weeks and not have jumped in a month.

Yikes.

Anyway, I was laid up with a migraine watching the WCHR Hunter Spectacular on Saturday night, and of course I saw the greats – Scott Stewart, John French – they came to Sophie Gochman. When they introduced her, she was introduced as being an “eighth grader at [insert school name here].”

And I thought, this eighth grader is competing in one of the biggest hunter classes in the country, and I’ve yet to even break into the Adult Amateurs.

I had a total meltdown and self-doubt moment, and I know each of us has has this, whether you’re a seasoned junior, an adult just starting out, or a late-bloomer when it came to showing or jumping. I’m sure professionals even experience these moments, too.

So, being me, I love writing letters to things to get negative feelings out. I wrote a letter. To my self-doubt.

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Dear Self-Doubt:

I know your entire purpose is to make me feel like I’ll never make it there, like I’ll never be a professional or experienced Amateur. Its purpose is to get in my head so bad that sometimes I wonder why I’m even riding. Its purpose is to sit there and tell me all these stories that simply are not true.

Because, your self-doubt is just telling you a bad story – it’s letting the competition, or the money, or the nice expensive tack, or the fancy imported Warmbloods get in the way of one thing you have that will make you more successful than anything else: Your passion.

Your passion is what lights you up. When you ride horses you forget about any other problems you may have. You feel more confident, more disciplined, more mature. You feel at one with the horse while still recognizing it’s two hearts and two souls working together. You can’t wait until your next trip to the barn, your next show, your next lesson.

This is your passion.

So, to the beginner, don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To the equestrian who never did the Big Eq: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To the late-bloomer to competing: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To the Amateur fighting to become a professional: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To the equestrian, any age, any rank, who feels he or she won’t be as successful as the equestrians with the money: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

To every equestrian everywhere, no matter what their “self-doubt” is about: don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are on your own riding journey on its own riding timeline. You are going to be exactly where you need to be at the right time. You’re going to learn everything you need to learn. You will get there when you need to and are supposed to. Just remember: You will always be successful at what you do, no matter how “behind” or “inadequate” you feel. Remember this, too: Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard. And, finally: If you keep the passion, you’ll never go wrong.

January 21, 2017

What mares have to teach us

This image is from Etsy, but unfortunately the particular item is no longer available for sale.

Many of you have probably seen the quote referenced above. There is no doubt that riding different genders of horses is extremely different. There is also no doubt that many equestrians tend to prefer one over another. You have your “gelding people” and your “mare people.” I don’t know if I’ve ever met or talked to anyone that preferred to work with a stallion, but I am sure they are out there.

For much of my riding career, I only rode geldings. I think the first mare I rode was after I had been riding for a good 10 years. Most of the mares I had experienced once I started going to different barns were, to be frank, bitchy and unpleasant to deal with.

I much preferred geldings over mares. I just clicked with them better. Unfortunately, my lack of experience with mares added with the fact that my trainers that had me ride mares never explained to me the differences between mares and geldings had soured me to working with mares.

Me riding Honor, one of my barn’s sale horses. She is one of the most pleasant mares I’ve worked with, and I love riding her.

It wasn’t until my current barn and my current trainer that I fully understood how working with a mare is completely different than working with a gelding. And, I also discovered that not every mare is mare-ish. Some are actually very pleasant to work with and ride. In fact, my barn owner has told me that having a relationship with a mare is one of the best horse relationships you can have because when you really click with a mare, they give you their all. They want to make you happy and do what’s right, and they truly cherish their relationship with their human.

There is no doubt that mares are much more sensitive than geldings. They can be more temperamental. They need to be ridden a certain way and worked with a certain way. Oftentimes, you cannot demand things from them like you would a gelding. They will test you, but, they are also incredibly loyal. When you earn their trust, you know you’ve done something right. If you respect them, they will respect you. And, while I have not yet experienced this myself, I have heard that a bond with a mare is like no other.

Senior Editor Liv Godfrey has her own chestnut Thoroughbred mare, Lulu. She gave her thoughts on what it’s like working with a mare.

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Lulu is my first young horse and off the track Thoroughbred that I started from the beginning. I taught her how to be a rideable jumper that happens to love jumping and being in the jumper ring. She has taught me so much over the past two, almost three years. I truly believe mares are a completely different ball game than geldings. Mares just have different personalities than geldings. Geldings tend to be more happy go lucky. Mares give their all to people that they trust and that they like being ridden by. A connection with a mare feel likes a different kind of connection, especially when you click with the mare. It teaches you to constantly want to be a better rider. Personally, my mare make me strive to be a different, more motivated, stronger person.

Olivia and Lulu in the jumper ring.

I’ve found when you ride a mare you need to constantly be talking to them and figuring out what will make them go their best depending on how they’re feeling that day. For example, sometimes Lulu goes like a little hunter, and some days she will throw harmless, sassy bucks in when we are cantering around the ring. When I am spending time with Lulu on the ground, she has a different kind of attitude. I feel like I constantly have to remind her how pretty she is in order to put her in a good mood before I get on!

Oh, and lots of treat help too…..

Overall mares are the best, in my opinion. When an equestrian is patient and listens to a mare, he or she will learn what buttons to push to make a mare go the best she possibly can. For me, that also involves a lot of good training from my trainers. Personally, I highly suggest working with professionals, even if you can only afford to once a month. Working with a professional helps a lot, sometimes more than one cares to admit, when you have someone on the ground observing and giving you suggestions.

To wrap it up, mares are the best when an equestrian is able to connect with them and take one’s time to understand their personality. I personally do not think people give mares enough credit all the time, but as far as I am personally seeing, some of the nicest horses (Sapphire, HH Azur, Cylana, etc.) in this era are mares.

Take your time. Understand what makes them tick. A mare will be the best teammate you could possibly ask for.

December 13, 2016

2016 in review: What I’ve learned & my goals for next year

14915463_10207637596761392_2245396196850124972_n Hi all! I know it’s been a while. I’ve been swamped with other projects and with riding as much as I can now that my migraines have been improving & my concussion seems to have fully healed (it only took a year!).

I know it’s only December 13th, but I’ve been itching to do a year in review and to lay out my goals for next year. And as always, I have my usual disclaimer that my goals may be somewhat ambitious. I like being ambitious. It keeps me on my toes, and it keeps me pushing forward and working hard for what I want to accomplish.

First, my year in review:

I learned a lot this year. Although my riding time was affected a lot because of my concussion and my doctor’s orders to stay out of the saddle for about 4 months, when I was allowed back in the saddle, I came back with a vengeance. Here’s my top 10 lessons from 2016.

Get everything in writing, even if you trust the person. Verbal assertions mean nothing. Also, I should know you need everything in writing, especially as an attorney, but I let my non-attorney mind take over for a split second, and it definitely cost me. Lesson learned. I’ll never do that again.
Listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
Have confidence in yourself and your riding ability. I’m lucky to have a trainer I trust wholeheartedly and that I know won’t ask me to do something I am not ready to do, so even if I am nervous, I have gotten better at pushing that aside and just going for it.
Take all the time you need. Riding isn’t going anywhere. Neither is showing. Taking time off of riding to fully heal was super hard for me, but I knew it was something I had to do, especially given the severity of my concussion and of the neck injury I sustained.
Let any hate or jealousy you receive motivate you. While the deactivation of my Ask.fm has really cut down on the hate I get, it took me a while to actually get rid of my Ask. Why? Well, I did also get nice messages and messages from people, who didn’t necessarily want to make their identity known, asking for help, so I didn’t want to cut off those individuals’ method of talking to me. However, the effects of the hate eventually got to me, and I decided it was best for my health and mindset that I just get rid of the medium. I am still here to talk to anyone who needs it, and I promise not to judge anyone’s questions or situations. I also promise to keep anything you say confidential.
Making connections in the horse world is extremely important. I have been lucky enough to make a ton of connections through this blog and through other things in which I am involved. I have found that these connections have helped me along the way, whether it is with excellent customer service from a company, opening up other opportunities for me, or giving me friendships that I hope will last a lifetime. These connections have been with other equestrians and with equestrian/equine companies.
Don’t get bogged down in the drama. I know this is a HUGE revelation, but the horse world is filled with drama (I’m obviously being sarcastic). I used to get involved with a lot of drama, and it bit me in the ass. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and on my social media, and now I only get involved if it is absolutely necessary (Note: If I see you bullying someone, I will step in. Bullying is never okay).
If you are feeling burnt out by riding, take a break. Even after I was given the okay to ride, I felt myself getting burnt out by riding halfway through this year. I felt like I was losing my passion and love for the sport, and I had to drag myself out to the barn most days (and that’s if I was lucky; some days I just said ‘f it’ and didn’t even go). I’ve seen a lot of riders experience this same feeling, and I always advise taking a break. Like I said, riding isn’t going anywhere; neither is showing. Don’t feel pressured to keep riding or showing if you’re just not into it at the moment. Sometimes we need to take something out of our lives to realize just how much we love it and need it.
Find your “equestrian tribe.” I have been extremely lucky to have an amazing trainer, who also happens to be one of my best friends. But, I also have been extremely lucky to have finally found a group of riders that support one another and are not concerned with drama and trying to one up each other. In the past, I’ve found myself at barns that have riders who are more concerned with being better than one another rather than honoring the fact that each equestrian is on their own journey, and that equestrian should be supported, not ridiculed or talked about behind their back. Who cares what height you’re jumping, what horse you ride, or where you are in your career. Support is the best thing you can give another equestrian, and I finally found that in the great group of equestrians of which I am a part.
Trust the process. After I was cleared to ride, I took about 10 lessons and was jumping 3′ – 3’3″. I was over the moon. Am I jumping that height every lesson? No (and, it’s best to preserve your horse anyway. I know a lot of riders that don’t jump very high at home, even if they’re competing at a certain height, simply because it’s better for the horse). At first I was like, “well, why am I not jumping this height all the time now?” There’s a reason behind everything your trainer does. Every exercise I do in a lesson has a goal behind it. For example, Monte likes to land on the left lead after jumps simply because it’s his stronger direction. I do a lot of work, over smaller jumps, that focuses on setting him up correctly so he gets the right lead (if we are tracking right or turning right after the jump) or focuses on me asking for the right lead in the air. If I was doing this over bigger jumps, especially with me being new to jumping bigger, I would be focusing on a ton of different things over a big jump, such as keeping my heels down, releasing enough, not crashing on his back on the landing side, getting my two point correct, keeping my leg stable, getting the right distance, etc., and adding getting the correct lead to that would just make everything overwhelming. Of course as I become more comfortable, all of those things won’t be so overwhelming, but I need to trust that every single lesson and every single exercise has a purpose, and that is to make me a better rider. On top of that, I have become a much better rider than I was this time last year. While Monte is an amazing horse that most of the time seems like an old soul, he can have green moments. Now, I am able to ride those green moments and help with his training. Just last week, we did an exercise that he had never done, and I pretty much nailed it. A year ago, I would not have been able to do it confidently (or at all), and doing it confidently did what? Gave him confidence and helped me execute the exercise in the exact right way so as not to confuse him or get him frustrated.

Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.

As I was typing that list, I realized I had way more than 10 things to list as lessons from 2016 – but I decided to cap it at that.

Now for my goals. As for my goals that I laid out before 2016 started, I am not sure if I accomplished all of them nor do I remember exactly what they were, but I do know I accomplished at least some.

Be jumping 3′ – 3’3″ consistently;
Begin showing in the 3′ Amateur Adult Hunters & 3′ Adult Eq. (My trainer thinks I can make it to this level by the summer if I keep my progress up and keep working hard);
Jump 3’6″ for the first time and, if I am being ambitious, school 3’6″ occasionally;
Find a way to get rid of my show nerves;
Continue to improve my riding, especially when it comes to training horses and working with green horses;
Become a textbook picture perfect hunter rider;
Find my next young hunter that I can hopefully help bring along more with the assistance of my trainer;
Start dabbling in the jumpers (I know I said this last year, but now that my confidence is higher and my riding is much improved, maybe now I am ready);
Get Monte qualified for Indoors & Zone Finals;

Ambitious? Yes. Totally unrealistic? I don’t think so.

Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.

Here’s the thing. It’s great to set ambitious goals, and I love people that shoot for the moon. The key is: Don’t be attached to your goals (Click the bird to tweet this quote). In metaphysical & spiritual principle, this makes them much less likely to be accomplished. It’s okay if you don’t accomplish all of them – or any of them. But, listing out your goals makes it much more likely that you will reach them, and if you back them up with hard work, you’re also much more likely to put checkmarks next to everything you want to accomplish.

I am wishing you all tons of success in the New Year. I know 2016 was rough, but I hope you at least were able to accomplish some of what you set out to do last January.

Got goals for 2017 or lessons you learned this year? Let me know! Comment below or shoot me a tweet.

Photo Credit: Caitlin Allen Photography.

November 18, 2016

10 ways to manage stress during finals/holiday season

It does not matter if you are a student, part of the workforce, or both, the holidays are fast approaching, and it is sure to cause everyone’s stress level to sky rocket! Between finishing up the semester, getting caught up on tasks at your job, planning dinners with family, and buying gifts, there is a lot to get done in the next month!

Here are 10 ways that help me reduce and manage stress.

Chew gum or pop a mint in your mouth during a stressful class or during a meeting. The semester is winding down, and it is going to become crunch time with getting papers and projects in and studying for midterms. I have always found that a mint or gum helps me stay focused. As for work, odds are you will have some time off due to the holidays, but this also means deadlines for projects are fast approaching. I would suggest a mint for a meeting, as it is far less noticeable.
Make time for yourself: Paint your nails, take a bubble bath or maybe light a candle, grab a snack and catch up on an episode of your favorite fall show. It is so important to invest in your own wellness. Self-care is hugely important, and it is something we often put aside for other things we deem “more important.” However, how can we properly care for others, get tasks done, and do our best at work or in school if we are not ensuring we are both physically and mentally healthy?
Try to get a full night’s sleep. The less sleep we get, the more stress we encounter. Additionally, a stress increase weakens one’s immune system which means we are more prone to getting ill, potentially severely. Getting the recommended 7 hours of sleep a night will help fight off any viruses.
Make every effort to eat properly. Eating properly ensures you have the energy to stay awake and maintain focus the whole day. Remember, the most important meal of the day is breakfast! Consider consuming oatmeal or eggs with some delicious fruit on the side. Also be sure to pack healthy snacks to take with you to ensure you do not go hungry and keep your energy level up at peak performance.
Put your thoughts on paper. Writing, such as making a list or taking random notes throughout the day can help declutter your mind and ensure you do not forget anything. Use a planner or consider bullet journaling to help you manage your workload.
Read something in which you are interested. There is nothing quite like a good book. It helps us escape from reality and get our minds off of our real lives, even if only for an hour or two. If you’ve chosen a book, make sure to devote the time to actually reading it, even if it is just 10 minutes before bed. Reading will help clear your mind and allow you to unwind before retiring for bed.
Plan ahead. By planning ahead, you can ensure that you do not have any additional stress from procrastinating. Personally, procrastinating is a horrible habit of mine. It is important that I make an extra effort to get tasks completed to eliminate stress. If procrastination is a habit of yours, be sure to try extra hard to complete tasks before the deadline is right on top of you, and you have to rush through them or risk not getting those tasks done.
Exercise. Working out can really help you eliminate any anger or nervous energy. Exercising has been proven to release endorphins which act as natural painkillers. Personally, working out makes me feel like I have really accomplished something.
Go to the barn. Going to the barn makes me feel a million times better! It clears my mind of everything that is bothering me, and seeing my horse makes me so much happier. Even if it’s my horse’s day off, I still like to visit the barn and see my horse as well as the other boarders.
Smile. Forcing yourself to smile has been proven to help a person feel happier. In addition to this, you can take some time to write a few compliments about yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the better you will feel about handling all the things that could be thrown at you.

Everything can seem so overwhelming during this time of year. You might feel as though you do not have time to do any of the things thrown at you, but it is important to take some time to create a plan of action. Remember that your personal health is most important. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

With that being said, if you are having serious trouble with managing your stress seek help from a close friend, family member, a certified counselor, or a licensed physician. They may be able to help you work through your issues and help you develop resilience and coping skills., which will, in turn, help you in dealing with your stress levels..

November 16, 2016

Bullet journaling: The latest way to express yourself, keep organized, and improve your mental health

Written by Katie Stone, assistant editor.

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Erin Condren Life Planner. The planners are fully customizable down to the metal binding color!

For the last two years I have bought two Erin Condren Life Planners and used them. However, in the past few months I had been struggling to find a planner for 2017 that would be versatile for my life. I am extremely picky about the planner I use and after searching online and in many stores, I was still unable to settle on one that I liked and fit my needs. During this time of research and searching, I found the bullet journal idea on Pinterest!

For me, bullet journaling is my way of creating a planner that has everything I need and nothing I do need. It allows me to keep everything I want and need in one place, whether it is travel information, reminders for school, or important horse information. This method is also not confining. I can design my weekly page however I want, and I can include a page of notes or a big to-do list wherever I want.

One example of bullet journaling.

To bullet journal, any notebook or type of paper can be used. However, it is common to use a notebook that is dotted to help create straight lines without it looking too busy (This is also the method I prefer). I purchased a hardcover Moleskine from Amazon for around $20.00. Another common brand is Lechttrum 1917 (available at Amazon here), which is a little more pricey (some models are $29.99 while others are less) but does have numbered pages and an index.

Personally, I use a pencil when journaling because I have found that pen bleeds through my Moleskine journal. (Note: It bugged me so much when I saw how bad it bled through!). In the Moleskine, the pages are not numbered, so I numbered them myself and created an index. After doing those tasks, I began with a monthly calendar for October. After the monthly calendar, I created a weekly one for the first week of the month. For the monthly calendar, I used a single page, and for my weekly layout, I had to use the 2 side-by-side pages. During my bullet journaling, I was going to be traveling, and I put all of my travel information, the weather for my destination, and a packing list on one page. I am also the media representative for my IHSA team, so I have a page of the riders, their divisions, and their class standing to help when I have to do write-ups after a busy weekend of showing. I am only on page 19 of my bullet journal; I haven’t really done much “fun stuff” yet.

Another example of bullet journaling from Buzzfeed.com.

If you are looking for some inspiration or ideas for your own bullet journal, definitely check out Pinterest and Instagram. These mediums and their content can inspire you. However, be sure to make your bullet journal unique to you and your preferences! It is worth noting that bullet journaling isn’t for everyone. If you want to ascertain if bullet journaling is for you, take any notebook or piece of paper and give it a try. The great thing about bullet journaling is that you can design it however you would like. It can range from little notes that you jot down or a full-on spread of everything in which you are involved.

For more information on this journaling technique, you can visit one of Buzzfeed’s many articles on how to bullet journal (or simply google ‘bullet journaling’).